Fun_People Archive
25 Feb
Affluent White Man Enjoys, Causes The Blues

Content-Type: text/plain
Mime-Version: 1.0 (NeXT Mail 3.3 v118.2)
From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Fri, 25 Feb 100 20:58:36 -0800
To: Fun_People
Precedence: bulk
Subject: Affluent White Man Enjoys, Causes The Blues

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649  -=[ Fun_People ]=-
X-http://www.langston.com/psl-bin/Fun_People.cgi
From: Bob Stein <squeeze@voicenet.com>
From: Bob Mills <bobmills@compuserve.com>
http://www.theonion.com/onion3606/affluent_white_blues.html
[N.B.: Onion alert!  -psl]


HIGHLAND PARK, IL--Steve Smalls, a senior vice-president at Chicago's
Alliance Manufacturing, the world's largest producer of industrial
refrigeration systems, is a self-described "blues nut."

With his regular table at Dan Aykroyd's House Of Blues, vast CD collection
featuring the likes of B.B. King, Bonnie Raitt, and Jonny Lang, and framed
photo of himself with Stevie Ray Vaughan, Smalls has been "a huge fan" of
the music for more than 20 years.

But the 43-year-old Smalls is not merely a blues lover:
With his May 1999 relocation of Alliance's main assembly plant from Cicero,
IL, to Hermosillo, Mexico, Smalls put 2,700 mostly black employees out of
work, making him one of Chicago's greatest blues causers.

"The best show I've ever seen had to be Clapton at the Rosemont Horizon
back in '94," Smalls declared over a $5.50 Sam Adams draft at the Bulldog
Brew Pub. "He did a version of 'Before You Accuse Me' that absolutely
smoked. Unbelievable."

Pausing to enter a favorite Buddy Guy song on the jukebox, Smalls explained
why the music resonates so strongly with him. "In 1996, when Alliance was
indicted for illegally burying dozens of 200-gallon drums of deadly freon
near Chicago's South Side, I was losing a lot of sleep. There was even talk
of some of the top brass getting fired. We got out of it, of course, paying
a token fine, but that was a rough experience. At that point, I really felt
like I knew what it's like to have the blues."

Smalls is so committed to causing the blues that in the early '90s, he used
illegal price-fixing tactics to drive smaller refrigeration-systems
companies out of business, causing additional unemployment and poverty
among the nation's blacks.

"Running a major corporation isn't easy. You sometimes have to make tough
decisions to preserve your competitiveness in the marketplace," Smalls
said. "But when you do have to make the painful decision to order layoffs,
a good Robert Cray record goes a long way toward soothing your soul."

While the average corporate vice-president would rather attend a golf
tournament than listen to Susan Tedeschi, Smalls is happiest at one the
countless blues shows he attends each year.

"Kenny Wayne Shepherd was just in town," Smalls said. "I got front-row
seats and talked to him for a while at a $500 cocktail meet-and-greet
backstage. That was a big thrill. He's one of the best young axes around."

"Have you seen The Blues Brothers?" Smalls asked. "I just ordered it on
DVD. It's one of my all-time favorite movies. Jake and Elwood sure know
how to play them blues."

A longtime fan of Blues Brothers star Aykroyd, Smalls can often be found
at the comedian's famed club.

"Dan really did [House Of Blues] right," Smalls said. "The way he modeled
it after an old Mississippi shotgun shack was a great touch. It looks just
like those old tin-roof shanties I used to drive past near Alliance's South
Side factory--only with much better drink specials."

Smalls says he has no plans ever to stop loving the music.

"The blues certainly isn't the only music I listen to--the new Santana
hasn't left my car's CD player for months--but it's what I always come back
to," Smalls said. "Other kinds of music may come and go, but the blues are
forever."

"Blues music is all about pain: It's about losing your job, your dog dying,
and your woman leaving you for another man," he continued. "Listening to
the blues, I can almost imagine what it would be like to experience one of
those things."

(c) Copyright 2000 Onion, Inc., All rights reserved. http://www.theonion.
prev [=] prev © 2000 Peter Langston []