Fun_People Archive
11 Jan
Ruminations 1/11/00

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Tue, 11 Jan 100 11:34:21 -0800
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Subject: Ruminations 1/11/00

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RUMINATIONS

My vote for funniest name of a town is Babe Ridge.  I'm not sure where it
is, but those San Francisco radio traffic reports talk about it all the
time.  (Larry Hollister)

You really have to have planned *way* ahead for New Year's 2000.  While my
friends are at some lame party, I'll be getting down with the Bee Gees at
Studio 54.  (Bob Van Voris)

If the world was made entirely out of Jell-O, would you hope for an
earthquake?  (Bobby Baldwin)

I don't know about you, but if I go to summer camp and people start dropping
dead left and right, then I'm sure not gonna have sex with Tommy Masterson
in the old abandoned pool house.  (Lindsay Acord)

Haiku is useless.  Nobody can make their point In so damn few words.  (Chris
Walker)

If you have a pimple on the end of your nose, don't tell your boyfriend you
feel like Rudolph, because that'll be your nickname for the rest of the day.
 (Debbie Jackson)

Wouldn't it be terrible if a bunch of aliens came down to Earth and inhaled
its atmosphere and exhaled methane instead, then ate our vegetation before
turning into steaks and shoes and Italian sofas and
... No, wait.  Those are cows.  Never mind.  (Nicki)


You know, grandparents are happy with the stupidest things:  macaroni
picture-frames, Popsicle stick coasters, Play-Doh ashtrays.  But just
mention a Guns 'n' Roses theme wedding and it's bye-bye, inheritance.
(Dakota Shepard)

Quoth the raven, "You talkin' to me?"  (Jim Goldman)

Six of one, half a dozen of the other ... that's twelve, right?  I'm just
saying, they seem to be making it twice as complicated as it needs to be.
(Jonathan Colan)

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."  I feel that way
after a bowl of chili.  (Jamie Bronstad)

In this world of trouble, I sometimes wish I didn't know now the things I
didn't know when I was young.  Then I realize, hey, maybe I already don't!
(Brian Jones)

When I hear someone say they give "110%" to whatever they're doing, it makes
me feel good inside -- because I know I'm not as big a moron as that person
is.  (Jim Rosenberg)

When someone asks me why, as a Jew, I can't just celebrate Christmas like
everybody else, I tell them that according to my penis, I've got a contract
with God not to celebrate such things.  And I ALWAYS listen to my penis.
(Jonathan Colan)

I sure wish my feminine side had breasts.  (Lowell Larson)

===================================================================
[                Ruminations is a Top5 publication                ]
[                   Copyright 1999, Chris White                   ]
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[         Send your ruminations to: submit@ruminate.com.          ]
[     NOTE: We accept only 100% original, unpublished items.      ]
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© 2000 Peter Langston