Fun_People Archive
30 Nov
Chirstmas Greetings from the Legal Department

Date: Thu, 30 Nov 95 00:22:05 -0800
From: Peter Langston <psl>
To: Fun_People
Subject: Chirstmas Greetings from the Legal Department

Forwarded-by: Jascha Franklin-Hodge <JoeShmoe@Misty.com>
By: Edward G. McManus

Merry Christmas From The Legal Department

   I.   Though we, the "Greetor," wish you well
        In our Holiday Entreaty,
        We limit all your claims, Dear Friend
        (Herinafter called the "Greetee").

  II.   We wish you dreams of Sugar Plums
        And dancing Christmas Lights,
        But if these Fancies come to Naught
        You have no Vested Rights.

 III.   In no case shall we be at fault
        In Implied Claims of Fitness,
        And all Writs of Depression must
        Be Sworn before a Witness.

  IV.   Although our Approbations
        Are Warranted full free
        Of Defects in Sincerity
        There is no Guaranty.

   V.   Whenever there's a Conflict
        These, our Contract Terms, will rule;
        The "Greetee" then is on his own
        To have a Happy Yule.

  VI.   We hope that You, Your Kith and Kin
        Find Christmas Viability;
        But if You don't, note now that We
        Decline all Liability.

 VII.   So if you don't hear Sleigh Bells ring,
        Or smell the fresh cut Pines,
        You have, "Greetee," Released our Firm,
        Successors, and Assigns.

VIII.   And if Our Heartfelt Christmas Wish
        By Counter Claim is marred,
        We may, at our Sole Option,
        Repossess this Christmas Card.

Accepted: ________________________
                (Greetee)

Witness:  ________________________


(Written by Edward G. McManus, Marlborough, MA; published in the
December 1981 issue of some computer magazine)

© 1995 Peter Langston