Fun_People Archive
24 Oct
Top ten things that will get you kicked out of a bookstore

Date: Tue, 24 Oct 95 22:14:16 -0700
From: Peter Langston <psl>
To: Fun_People
Subject: Top ten things that will get you kicked out of a bookstore

Forwarded-by: bostic@bsdi.com (Keith Bostic)
Forwarded-by: carolyn meinel <cmeinel@unm.edu>
From: Robert H. Fritz <70372.2473@compuserve.com>

TOP TEN THINGS THAT WILL GET YOU KICKED OUT OF A BOOKSTORE:

 1. Sneak up behind someone reading a romance novel and make kissing noises.
 2. Throw a book-signing party -- even though you haven't written a book.
 3. Lick a cookbook, pause, shake your head, and move on to the next one.
 4. Carry out a stack of Shirley MacLaine's books; tell the clerk you paid
    for them in a previous life.
 5. Shout really loudly, "Hey look, everybody! 'Penis' is in the dictionary!"
 6. Ask if there's a Books on Tape version of "Mein Kampf" read by Carol
    Channing.
 7. Sweep the science fiction books off the shelf and scream, "Nothing but
    Earthling lies!"
 8. Return a copy of the Bible; say you couldn't find Waldo in it anywhere.
 9. Loudly announce that you have naked photos of Nancy Drew.
10. Push over bookshelves like giant Dominoes.

© 1995 Peter Langston