Fun_People Archive
10 Jul
The Great God Contest!

Date: Mon, 10 Jul 95 17:54:31 PDT
From: Peter Langston <psl>
To: Fun_People
Subject: The Great God Contest!

Forwarded-by: bostic@CS.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic)
Forwarded-by: guy@netapp.com (Guy Harris)

At
	http://www.islandnet.com/~luree/contest.html

we find:

	The Mother Of All Contests!

	Right here on the Internet, we will attempt to bring a final
	resolution to all religious wars, controversy and hypocrisy.

	The Rules

	The rules are simple.  Any religious organization in the world
	is invited to enter their god.  The various gods will be given
	three challenges to fulfill.  These challenges have been chosen
	because they represent typical accomplishments of most of the
	present day gods, as well as historical ones.  In light of the
	various literary records, these challenges should be very easy
	for any god to accomplish.

	Only one entry per religion is allowed.

	The winner will be the god who completes all three challenges in
	the least amount of time.

	Onlookers may cheer for their god by offering prayers, songs,
	epithets or verbal abuse.

	If your god fails to show, then followers are free to cheer for
	a more conscientious alternative.

	Notice: Representatives of local S.P.C.A.'s, Humane Societies,
	and P.E.T.A.  will be on hand to ensure that no animals are
	killed or mutilated, even if it is for some primitive sacrifice
	or common food ritual.  God's creatures are in no way to be
	adversely affected by this religious challenge.

		...

	The Challenges

	  Challenge 1. Virgin Impregnated

		...

	  Challenge 2. Corpse Raised

		...

	  Challenge 3. Choice of ...

		       a) Sick Healed ... or

		       b) Multitude Fed

		...

© 1995 Peter Langston