Fun_People Archive
10 Apr
the 15 (crash!) ... er ... 10 commandments

Date: Mon, 10 Apr 95 23:03:31 PDT
From: Peter Langston <psl>
To: Fun_People
Subject: the 15 (crash!) ... er ... 10 commandments

[I saw the Ten Commandments on TV last night (well I saw half of it, intercut
with The Sound of Music on another network) and I particularly liked the part
where the Nazis get drowned in the Red Sea and Charlton Heston sings Edelweiss
to Yul Brynner.  If only they'd found parts for the Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band ,,,
(Imperial Records LP-12370)  Anyway, the showing of that movie probably
inspired the following...  -psl]

Forwarded-by: bostic@CS.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic)
Forwarded-by: kole@hydra.convex.com (John P. Kole)
Forwarded-By: lindsey (Norman Lindsey)
Forwarded-By: "Jim Littlefield" <little@ragnarok.hks.com>

It seems that Moses is sitting in the Egyptian ghetto, things are going
terrible: the Pharoah won't even talk to him, the rest of the Hebrews are
mad at him for making the overseers even more irritable than usual, etc.
He's about ready to give up.

Suddenly a booming, sonorous voice speaks from above:

	"YOU, MOSES, HEED ME. I HAVE GOOD NEWS, AND BAD NEWS."

Moses is staggered. The voice continues:

	YOU, MOSES, WILL LEAD THE PEOPLE OF ISRAEL FROM BONDAGE.  IF THE
PHAROAH REFUSES TO RELEASE YOUR BONDS I WILL SMITE EGYPT WITH A RAIN OF
FROGS.
	YOU, MOSES, WILL LEAD THE PEOPLE OF ISRAEL TO THE PROMISED LAND.
IF THE PHAROAH BLOCKS YOUR WAY I WILL SMITE EGYPT WITH A PLAGUE OF
LOCUSTS.
	YOU, MOSES, WILL LEAD THE PEOPLE TO FREEDOM AND SAFETY.  IF THE
PHAROAH'S ARMY PURSUES YOU, I WILL PART THE WATERS OF THE RED SEA TO OPEN
YOUR PATH TO THE PROMISED LAND."

Moses is stunned.  "That's, that's fantastic, I can't believe it!" he
stammers, "but what's the bad news?"

	YOU, MOSES, WILL WRITE THE ENVIRONMENTAL IMPACT STATEMENT.

© 1995 Peter Langston