Fun_People Archive
30 Mar
Two airlines and a religion

Date: Thu, 30 Mar 95 14:14:04 PST
From: Peter Langston <psl>
To: Fun_People
Subject: Two airlines and a religion

Forwarded-by: <cate3@netcom.com>


No one was really quite sure how Pan-Am could loose an engine off of
an airplane.  It was found out later that the engine had a luggage
sticker on it.

----------------------------------------------------

Well, there was another close call for AirJEDR this week.  seems the
pilot had a heart attack and the controllers in the tower had to talk
the stewardess through the takeoff.

----------------------------------------------------

                          The King of Beers
                          =================

The Budweiser marketing executives held their annual planning session
with their advertising agency.  The ad agency gave them a new and
FABULOUS plan.

Irving Schlock, the ad agency account executive, suggested that
Budweiser offer the Pope $1 Million per year if he will send out an
edict changing the Lord's Prayer line from "Give us this day our daily
bread" to "Give us this day our daily Bud."

The Bud executives thought this was fantastic and shipped off a staff
representative to Rome to make the offer.  The representative only got
to see a bishop, who ordered him thrown out amid cries of "Sacrilege!!"

He returned to the President of Budweiser, who told him to up the offer
to $1 million per month.

This time the Budweiser man got in to see a Cardinal, told him about
the proposed change from "Give us this day our daily bread" to "Give us
this day our daily Bud."  The Cardinal, enraged, also had him thrown out,
saying, "The Lord's Prayer is NOT for sale, commercialistic swine!"

Back to the Budweiser President he went.

This time the president said that he had certain connections and would
make some calls in advance, guaranteeing the rep would see the Pope
himself, not just some flunkies.  Also, said the president, "Offer the
Pope $1 million a week.  "This is so big we can't miss it.  It'll blow
Miller out of the water!"

Back in the Vatican, the Budweiser Rep enters a room filled with the
church hierarchy, begins to give his presentation -- cries of "out"
begin, when the Pope comes in.  He asks that the Rep be heard in a
respectful manner, but first wants to leave for a moment.  The Pope goes
down the hallway to his business manager's office.  Entering, he says
"Guido, get out the Lord's Prayer file."

"Sure, your Holiness, what do you need to know?"

"How long before our deal expires with Pepperidge Farm?"

© 1995 Peter Langston