Fun_People Archive
21 Mar
Questions Cecil Is Still Thinking About

Date: Tue, 21 Mar 95 03:12:18 PST
From: Peter Langston <psl>
To: Fun_People
Subject: Questions Cecil Is Still Thinking About

From: Cecil Adams' The Straight Dope 3-10-95
Copyright 1995 Chicago Reader

QUESTIONS WE'RE STILL THINKING ABOUT
     If you stuck your head over a pot of boiling lard for a few
weeks would you gain weight? --Lee Johnson, Hermosa Beach,
California
     I was born in the U.S. My lover was born in Mexico and
lived there until he was twelve. Would it be possible through
ingestion of his semen to obtain his tolerance to the bacteria in the
drinking water of Mexico? If so, how much would it take? If not,
how about a partial blood transfusion? STDs have already been
ruled out. --Name Withheld, Chicago
     Several of our patients have told us of their fear that if they
burp, fart, and sneeze simultaneously, they will die. Like so many
other areas of concern to the general public, this topic was
inadequately covered, if at all, in our medical education.
Furthermore, many of us have experienced the simultaneous
occurrence of two of these physiological events (Tim Allen,
personal communication). The law of averages suggests for some
of us, a triple event (the "Big One"?) may eventually occur. If it
were to be accompanied by sudden death, this would be a subject
of legitimate anxiety. Thank you for your attention to this question.
--Richard Levenson, MD, Mark Swaim, MD, PhD, Duke
University Medical Center, Durham, North Carolina
     Don't mention it.

© 1995 Peter Langston