Fun_People Archive
2 Feb
Grad student humor

Date: Thu,  2 Feb 95 15:43:50 PST
From: Peter Langston <psl>
To: Fun_People
Subject: Grad student humor

Forwarded By: Ben Herman <greyshadow@uchicago.edu)
From: Carolyn Church <cchurch@ben-may.bsd.uchicago.edu>

THE RABBIT, THE FOX AND THE WOLF  --  A FABLE

One sunny day a rabbit came out of her hole in the ground to enjoy the
weather.

The day was so nice that the rabbit became careless, so a fox sneaked
up to her and caught her.

"I am going to eat you for lunch!,"  said the fox.

"Wait!" replied the rabbit, "You should at least wait a few days"

"Oh yeah? Why should I wait?"

"Well, I am just finishing writing my Ph.D. thesis."

"Hah! That's a stupid excuse.  What is the title of your thesis anyway?"

"I am writing my thesis on 'The Superiority of Rabbits over Foxes and
Wolves.'"

"Are you crazy?  I should eat you up right now!  Everybody knows that
a fox will always win over a rabbit."

"Not really, not according to my research.  If you like, you can come
to my hole and read it for yourself.  If you are not convinced you can
go ahead and have me for lunch."

"You are really crazy!" But since the fox was curious and had nothing
to lose, it went with the rabbit into its hole. The fox never came back
out.

A few days latter the rabbit was again taking a break from writing and,
sure enough, a wolf came out of the bushes and was ready to eat her.

"Wait!", yelled the rabbit, "you cannot eat me right now."

"And why might that be, you fuzzy appetizer?"

"I am almost finished writing my Ph.D. thesis on 'The Superiority of
Rabbits over Foxes and Wolves'."

The wolf laughed so hard that it almost lost its hold on the rabbit.
"Maybe I shouldn't eat you, you are really sick in your head, you might
have something contagious," the wolf opined.

"Come read for yourself, you can eat me after that if you disagree with
my conclusions."  So the wolf went to the rabbit's hole and never came
out.

The rabbit finished writing her thesis and was out celebrating in the
lettuce fields. Another rabbit came by and asked, "What's up? You seem
to be very happy."

"Yup, I just finished writing up my dissertation."

"Congratulations!  What is it about?"

"It is titled 'The superiority of Rabbits over Foxes and Wolves.'"

"Are you sure?  That doesn't sound right."

"Oh yes, you should come over and read for yourself."

So they went together to the rabbit's hole.

As they went in, the friend saw the typical graduate student abode,
albeit a rather messy one after writing a thesis.   The computer with
the controversial dissertation was in one corner, on the right there
was a pile of fox bones, on the left was a pile of wolf bones, and in
the middle was a lion.

The moral of the story is: The title of your dissertation doesn't
matter, all that matters is who your thesis advisor is.

© 1995 Peter Langston