Fun_People Archive
27 Jan
Revisiting the Fifties - Burma-Shave

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu, 27 Jan 100 12:20:25 -0800
To: Fun_People
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Subject: Revisiting the Fifties - Burma-Shave

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See http://www.fiftiesweb.com/burma1.htm
Also: http://www.langston.com/Fun_People/1997/1997ADF.html

  His cheek
    Was rough
      His chick vamoosed
        And now she won't
          Come home to roost
            Burma-Shave

    The place to pass
      On curves
        You know
          Is only at
            A beauty show
              Burma-Shave

    On curves ahead
      Remember, sonny
        That rabbit's foot
          Didn't save
            The bunny
              Burma-Shave

    Twinkle, twinkle
      One-eyed car
        We all wonder
          WHERE you are
            Burma-Shave

    These signs
      We gladly
        Dedicate
          To men who've had
            No date of late
              Burma-Shave

    A guy
      Who drives
        A car wide open
          Is not thinkin'
            He's just hopin'
              Burma-Shave

    A whiskery kiss
      For the one
        You adore
          May not make her mad
            But her face will be sore
              Burma-Shave

    His brush is gone
      So what'll we do
        Said Mike Robe I
          To Mike Robe II
            Burma-Shave

    If your peach
      Keeps out
        Of reach
          Better practice
            What we preach
              Burma-Shave

    When Super-shaved
      Remember, pard
        You'll still get slapped
          But not so hard
            Burma-Shave

    Burma-Shave
      Was such a boom
        They passed
          The bride
            And kissed the groom

    To kiss
      A mug
        That's like a cactus
          Takes more nerve
            Than it does practice
              Burma-Shave

    The whale
      Put Jonah
        Down the hatch
          But coughed him up
            Because he scratched
              Burma-Shave

    Violets are blue
      Roses are pink
        On graves
          Of those
            Who drive and drink
              Burma-Shave

    Candidate says
      Campaign
        Confusing
          Babies kiss me
            Since I've been using
              Burma-Shave

    My job is
      Keeping faces clean
        And nobody knows
          De stubble
            I've seen
              Burma-Shave

    Doesn't
      Kiss you
        Like she useter?
          Perhaps she's seen
            A smoother rooster!!
              Burma-Shave

    No use
      Knowing
        How to pick 'em
          If your half-shaved
            Whiskers stick 'em
              Burma-Shave

    He tried
      To cross
        As fast train neared
          Death didn't draft him
            He volunteered
              Burma-Shave

    Her chariot
      Raced 80 per
        They hauled away
          What had
            Ben Her
              Burma-Shave

    She will flood
      Your face with kisses
        'Cause you smell
           So darn delicious
             Burma-Shave Lotion

    Use Burma-Shave
      In tube or jar
        Then follow up
          With our new star
            Burma-Shave Lotion

    It has a tingle
      And a tang
        That starts
          The day off
            With a bang
              Burma-Shave Lotion

    Bracing as
      An ocean breeze
        For after shaving
          It's sure to please
            Burma-Shave Lotion

    For early morning
      Pep and bounce
        A brand new product
          We announce
            Burma-Shave Lotion

    The ladies take
      One whiff and purr--
        It's no wonder
          Men prefer
            Burma-Shave Lotion

    His face was smooth
      And cool as ice
        And oh! Louise!
          He smelled so nice
            Burma-Shave Lotion

    I'd heard it praised
      By drug store clerks
        I tried the stuff
          Hot dog!
            It works
              Burma-Shave

    Train wrecks few
      Reason clear
        Fireman never
          Hugs engineer
            Burma-Shave

    Altho insured
      Remember, kiddo
        They don't pay you
          They pay
            Your widow
              Burma-Shave

© 2000 Peter Langston