Fun_People Archive
5 Jan
More "Stupid Customer Tricks" - The Iams Pet Care Hotline

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed,  5 Jan 100 12:44:48 -0800
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Subject: More "Stupid Customer Tricks" - The Iams Pet Care Hotline

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DAYTON, Ohio, Dec. 23 /PRNewswire/ -- "How many calories in a mouse?" and
"What should I feed a borderline collie?" were just a few of the wacky
questions that the Iams Pet Professionals fielded from pet owners last year.
The last year of the century was another bumper year for weird and wonderful
calls to The Iams Company's pet care hotline.  Here are the team's favorite
calls in 1999 to 800-863-IAMS (4267):

-- "I have trouble seeing what I'm scooping in my yard.  Can your food turn
my dog's poop pink?"  -- dog owner, Ronkonkoma, N.Y.

-- "Is your cat food good for urinal infections?"  -- cat owner, San Jose,

-- "My two-year-old daughter loves the taste of Iams -- is it okay for her
to eat it?"  -- mother, Staten Island, N.Y.

-- "What's the best way to get superglue off my dog's paws?"  -- dog owner,
Arlington, Texas.

-- "Can a dog get claustrophobia?"  -- dog owner, Cambridge, Mass.

-- "My dog growls in his sleep -- do you think he could have a vitamin B
deficiency?"  -- dog owner, Puyallup, Wash.

-- "I think if my dog received mail, it would build his character.  Can I
register him on your mailing list?"  -- dog owner, Richmond, Va.

-- "How do I potty train my pot belly pig?"  -- pot belly pig owner, Vero
Beach, Fla.

-- "What's up with my cat?  She looks at me strangely when I sing and dance
for her."  -- cat owner, New York, N.Y.

-- "I have two new kittens and I don't want to leave them home alone.  Can
I carry them around in my gym bag?"  -- new kitten owner, Brooklyn, N.Y.

-- "I'm thinking of setting up a kennel, and I was wondering ... how much
poop can 50 dogs make in one year?"  -- dog owner, Davis, Calif.

-- "My son just sold me a subscription to the Iams Your Cat magazine.  But
you tell me it's free?"  -- concerned mom, Englewood, Ohio.

-- "When my dog pees, he leaves brown patches all over the lawn.  Is he
peeing fire?"  -- dog owner, Covington, Ky.

-- "I raise worms -- the world's most perfect protein source.  How about
using them in your food?"  -- worm farmer, Long Barn, Ohio.

-- "I can smell my cat's urine and tell what cat food brand she's eating.
Can you use this talent at Iams?"  -- cat owner, Sacramento, Calif.

"When these type of calls come in, it's hard to keep a straight face," says
Sally Northcutt, manager of Customer Service, The Iams Company.  "But we
know that most of the time we have a customer on the phone who is genuinely
concerned for his or her pet.  Our sole purpose is to help pet owners with
their questions, so however strange those questions may seem, we try our
best to answer them.

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