Fun_People Archive
9 Feb
Would You Like to Play the Guitar?

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Tue,  9 Feb 99 18:06:59 -0800
To: Fun_People
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Subject: Would You Like to Play the Guitar?

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Forwarded-by: Bob Stein <squeeze@voicenet.com>
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"Would You Like to Play the Guitar?"
        Pat Donohue - lyric
 (to the tune of "Swinging on a Star")

 Would you like to play the guitar
 Carry money home in a jar
 From a coffeehouse or a bar
 Or would you rather get a job?

 A job is the thing that makes you get out of bed
 And work every day until you're dead
 Your back is achin' and your brain is numb
 And you just can't wait until the weekend comes
 But if you don't want to starve or beg or rob
 You're gonna have to get a job

 Or would you like to play the guitar
 Drive for miles and miles in your car
 And pretend that you're a big star
 Or would you rather book the gig?

 An agent's the guy who takes his twenty percent
 What he says isn't always what he meant
 He'll clean you out in ways you never thought
 Because he's good at business and he knows you're not
 And then he'll sue if you ever make it big
 'Cause he's the guy who booked the gig

 Or would you like to play the guitar
 For a living - har-dee-har-har
 I'll admit it's kind of bizarre
 Or would you rather be the wife

 The wife is the one who has to rescue our butts
 She's either a saint or else she's nuts
 She gets impatient and she gets annoyed
 'Cause she's the one who must remain employed
 And, by the way, if you want to wreck your life
 Become a guitar player's wife

 'Cause all the monkeys aren't in the zoo
 They can be trained to play guitar, too
 Some do a whole lot better than you
 But even if you don't go far
 You could be worse off than you are
 At least you're playing your guitar

© 1999 Peter Langston