JOTD - 2/9/99
Mime-Version: 1.0 (NeXT Mail 3.3 v118.2)
From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Tue, 9 Feb 99 17:35:38 -0800
Subject: JOTD - 2/9/99
Forwarded-by: Nev Dull <firstname.lastname@example.org>
We regret to inform you that the best NBA season ever will now be
interrupted with actual games.
-- The Vent
Alyssa Milano has formed a company called Cybertrackers that surfs the web
for unauthorized nude photos of celebrities. "This is the second such group,
the first being 'men'." (Jim Rosenberg)
Every day above ground is a good day.
Save your burned out bulbs for me, I'm building my own dark room.
Q. Why do Mormons object so strongly to pre-marital sex?
A. They're afraid it might lead to drinking and dancing.
"Take a bunch of flowers home for your wife, sir," urged the street vendor.
"I haven't got a wife," replied the young man.
"Then buy a bunch for your sweetheart."
"I don't have a sweetheart, either."
"Well then, just buy a couple of bunches to celebrate your luck."
Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 a throw on those little bottles
of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.
My wife said the secret of a happy marriage is for the husband to always
give in to his wife. I replied that I am not in a happy marriage.
-- The Vent
After my Windows 98 crashed 6 times, I ran out and got "Friend of the Robot"
tattooed on my forehead, thinking the machines were rebelling and planning
to kill us all. Imagine my chagrin when it just turned out to be a crappy
product. -- Davejames
Graduation is a funny thing. It probably helps that I went to clown
college, though. -- Justin E. Kerner
There is no business like show business, but taxidermy is probably a close
second. -- Chuck Smith
The first thing I do after opening a bar of Ivory soap is to scrape off the
.0056 part that's impure. I mean, who wants to wash themselves with that
crap? -- Paul Paternoster
If you live more than 10 miles from where you work, you have no right to
complain about the traffic problem. You are the problem.
© 1999 Peter Langston