Fun_People Archive
2 Oct
Style Invitational - Almost puns, but not quite:

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Fri,  2 Oct 98 12:46:01 -0700
To: Fun_People
Precedence: bulk
Subject: Style Invitational - Almost puns, but not quite:

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649
[If you enjoy this, then you might also want to take a look at:
 <http://www.langston.com/Fun_People/1994/1994AJN.html> and
 <http://www.langston.com/Fun_People/1997/1997AIN.html> for some
 foreign-language predecessors. -psl]

Forwarded-by: "pardo@cs.washington.edu" <pardo@cs.washington.edu>
Forwarded-by: Sid Sidner <Sid@CoyoteSoftware.com>
[Forwards off looking at the dictionary...]

The Washington Post's "Style Invitational" asked readers to take any word
from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one
letter, and supply a new definition.

Foreploy:  any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining
	sex.

Fortissimoe:  the musical moment produced when someone serially slaps the
	faces of the first-violin section.

Tatyr:  a lecherous Mr.  Potato Head.

Doltergeist:  a spirit that decides to haunt someplace stupid, such as your
	septic tank.

Giraffiti:  vandalism spray-painted very, very high, such as the famous
	"Surrender Dorothy" on the Beltway overpass.

Sarchasm:  the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient
	who doesn't get it.

Conratemps:  the resentment permanent workers feel toward the fill-in
	workers.

Whitetater:  a political hot potato.

Impotience:  eager anticipation by men awaiting their Viagra prescription.

Auto-da-feh:  the extermination of heretics via drowning in a vat of pus.

Stupfather:  Woody Allen.

Reintarnation:  coming back to life as a hillbilly.

DIOS:  the one true operating system.

Inoculatte:  to take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis:  terminal coolness.

Writer's tramp:  a woman who practices poetic licentiousness.

Taterfamilias:  the head of the Potato Head family.

Guillozine:  a magazine for executioners.

Osteopornosis:  a degenerate disease.

Adulatery:  cheating on your wife with a much younger woman who holds you
	in awe.

Suckotash:  a dish consisting of corn, lima beans and tofu.

Emasculathe:  a tool for castration.

Burglesque:  a poorly planned break-in.  (See:  Watergate)

Karmageddon:  It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad
	vibes, right?  And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a
	serious bummer.

Genitaliar:  an image-enhancing object that can be carried in a man's front
	pocket.

Glibido:  all talk and no action.

Antifun gal:  a prude.

Vaseball:  a game of catch played by children in the living room.

Eunouch:  the pain of castration.

Hindkerchief:  really expensive toilet paper; toilet paper at Buckingham
	palace.

Deifenestration:  to throw all talk of God out the window.

Hozone:  the area around 14th street.

Acme:  a generic skin disease.

Hindprint:  indentation made by a couch potato.

Intaxication:  euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until
	you realize it was your money to start with.

Dopeler effect:  the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come
	at you rapidly.

Coiterie:  a very VERY close-knit group.

© 1998 Peter Langston