Fun_People Archive
31 Dec
Top Ten Corporate Resolutions

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed, 31 Dec 97 12:00:41 -0800
To: Fun_People
Precedence: bulk
Subject: Top Ten Corporate Resolutions

Forwarded-by: "Jack D. Doyle" <doylej@PEAK.ORG>
From: CNET, Inc. (dispatch@CNET.COM)

	TOP TEN CORPORATE RESOLUTIONS

You are not alone. Big computer companies have resolutions to make, too:

10. Apple: get a CEO. Really. We mean it this year.
9.  Oracle: blame Asia.
8.  AOL: buy more users!
7.  Corel: sell Dr. Cowpland's Lamborghini to fund Java development.
6.  Intel: new corporate uniform--pink bunny suits for everyone!
5.  CNET: try to write some funny top ten lists.
4.  Wired: buy some white paper and black ink.
3.  Gateway: enough with the cows already!  Adopt ferrets as new corporate
    mascot.
2.  Microsoft: increase charitable giving to Department of Justice.
1.  Netscape: REALLY increase charitable giving to Department of Justice.

© 1997 Peter Langston