Fun_People Archive
23 Nov
Gay Comedians Speak Out

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Sun, 23 Nov 97 14:51:18 -0800
To: Fun_People
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Subject: Gay Comedians Speak Out

Forwarded-by: adam cavan <acavan@suika.com>

GAY COMEDIANS SPEAK OUT IN THE NEW YORK TIMES

If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work.  Hello, can't
work today. Still queer."
	-- Robin Tyler

My Aunt Lorraine said, "Bob, you're gay.  Are you seeing a psychiatrist?"
I said, "No. I'm seeing a lieutenant in the Navy."
	-- Bob Smith

I don't even consider myself bisexual.  Frankly, I just think of myself as
a "people person."

Labels can also be misleading.  I saw a news report about a lesbian protest
march, and the reporter said, "Coming up next, a lesbian demonstration."
My first thought was, "Cool.  I always wondered how those things work."

I know that some lesbians are getting pregnant by going to sperm banks.  I
couldn't do that.  I'm exactly like my grandmother.  "What? Everything's
frozen?!  Nothing's fresh?!"
	-- Michael Dane

I came out to a straight friend and told her that I'm a lesbian.  The first
thing she said to me was: "Really? Do you know Jill McGee?  She's a lesbian
in Philadelphia!"  Pardon me for laughing, but straight people are so funny!
They think we all know each other!  Actually, I do know her.  But, hey, it's
just a coincidence!
	-- Karen Ripley

I do not care whether they allow gays in the military or not, because the
whole idea of the military strikes me as completely absurd.  I do not
understand the desire to pick up a gun and go off and shoot strangers when
there are so many loved ones I'd like to take a shot at first.  I'd have to
reload several times to get every one on my particular hit list of love.
	-- E.L. Greggory

Yes, I was a teenage lesbian.  And while that may sound like a horror movie
to some of you, for me I could subtitle that period of my life, "Adventures
in Paradise," because there was one thing that we gay teenagers could do
that our straight friends couldn't.  I could say, "Hey, Mom, Michelle's
comin' over to spend the night Friday night, OK?"  "OK, Honey!"
	-- Marilyn Pittman

I do a lot of traveling as a comic.  I've traveled through the Bible Belt.
"Belt" is too narrow a word, I think.  It should be "Bible cummerbund."  Or
maybe "Bible Body Cast."

Billy Graham has described heaven as a family reunion that never ends.  What
must hell possibly be like?  Home videos of the same reunion?
	-- Sabrina Matthews

© 1997 Peter Langston