Fun_People Archive
9 Jun
The Comedian's Eye View of Tuesday June 10, 1997

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Mon,  9 Jun 97 23:08:59 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: The Comedian's Eye View of Tuesday June 10, 1997

Excerpted-from: Tuesday June 10, 1997- ShopTalk

                         Tuesday June 10, 1997

"I've had great success being a total idiot."

        - Jerry Lewis at opening of "Damn Yankees" in London

                               &&&&&&&&&&

Our Galaxy: There are reports that a new planet was discovered beyond Pluto.
Either that, or it's a rest stop for the Heaven's Gate ship.  (Cutler Daily
Scoop)

Strom: In Washington. The Smithsonian is having a week-long exhibit of amber
fossils that date back 20 million to 30 million years. And included in the
exhibit are some rare charred baby pictures of Sen.  Strom Thurmond. (Brian
J. Hill)

Sen. Thurmond is mad.  After writing the forward to a book by a former aide,
"The day After Roswell," he's just finding out the book is about the
government using alien technology from the supposed UFO crash to win the
Cold War.  The book also claims UFOs visited Earth's ancient civilizations.
But Thurmond says he was there the whole time and didn't see a single flying
saucer." (Daily Scoop)

Crimes and Misdemeanors: Three people were arrested and gear discovered from
a stolen FBI SWAT truck. "they're the nation's top crime fighters, and they
haven't heard of the Club?" (Daily Scoop)

Down Time: A new study says Americans have more leisure time than ever
before.  The only problem, says Gary Easley: They spend all this extra time
rushing somewhere to spend it.

So, what does a civil servant call lounging?  Another day at the office."
(Alan Ray)

The Postal Service wants to raise first-class postage by two cents.  Most
customers won't experience the hike until next year.  Says Ray, it will take
them that long to reach the front of the line.

Congress, meantime, may consider pushing back the April 15 tax deadline by
two months.  Good idea, according to Stan Kaplan; that will give taxpayers
more time to ask for more time.

TV Land: Larry King had angioplasty for a blocked vein.  And there's even
more good news...he asked three of the nurses to marry him, says Hill.

Some senators want a clearer TV rating system.  But the ratings are clear
as a bell, says Argus Hamilton: If a show contains violence, sex and
profanity, it'll say ABC, CBS, NBC or Fox before the opening credits.

© 1997 Peter Langston