Fun_People Archive
5 Jun
Twenty-Seven Useful Hawaiian Phrases

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed,  5 Jun 96 10:33:32 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: Twenty-Seven Useful Hawaiian Phrases

[Well, okay.  Call it "Twenty-Seven Hawaiian Phrases" then.  -psl]

Forwarded-by: Keith Bostic <bostic@bsdi.com>
Forwarded-by: John Kochmar <kochmar@psc.edu>
Forwarded-by: Laura Bentrem <lb@SEI.CMU.EDU>
From: CGIC1::HILL "Bear" 28-MAY-1996 11:59:51.72

ON THE PLANE

     My, how your perfume fills the entire cabin!
            'A'ala maoli keia wahi o kakou i kau wai 'ala kuikawa!

     If I snore, I would like to apologize in advance.
            Ke nono au, e kala mua mai, i keia manawa ho'i.

     I am filled with admiration for my in-flight meal.
            Kahaha ko'u na'au i ke 'ano o ka mea 'ai ma keia mokulele.

     Only six dollars for a headset? Why that's only three dollars per ear!
            'Eono kala no ka ho'olohe lekio? 'O ia ho'i, 'ekolu wale no
            kala o kahi pepeiao!

     Baby, Severe Turbulance is my middle name.
            E ku'u kumu e, mai hopohopo, ua kapa 'ia ko'u inoa waena, 'o ia
            'o Severe Turbulance.

CHECKING IN TO THE HOTEL

     This is a wonderful room for a dwarf.
            He lumi maika'i keia e ku pololei ana i ke kanaka peke.

     How nice of you to find a bed that will fit my leg.
            Mahalo nui loa ia 'oe, ua loa'a mai kahi moe kupono o ka nui no
            ko'u wawae 'akau wale no!

     This view of your parking lot is incredible!
            He kuikawa ka 'ikena o kela wahi ho'oku ka'a e waiho kala'e
            ihola ma 'o!

     It's a lovely gift, now please unwrap the toilet seat.
            A 'o ia, he makana maika'i loa keia; aka, nau no e ho'ohemo i
            ka wahi pepa ma luna o ka noho lua la, ke 'olu'olu.

EATING DINNER

     My wife will pay the bill when she returns.
            Aia no a ho'i mai ka'u wahine, nana ka pila e uku aku.

     These really nice napkins seem to match my underclothing.
            Ku maika'i keia mau kawele pepa i ke 'ano o ko'u 'a'ahu
            palema'i.

     This Merlot is an ungrateful bitch.
            He kanapapiki mahalo 'ole keia mea inu Merlot ia'u.

     Waiter, my papaya has been previously fondled.
            E ke kuene, ua milimili 'e 'ia neia mikana!

     The busboy has cursed me and I am ashamed.
            Ua ho'ohalahala 'ia mai nei au na ke kuene, a hilahila ihola au.

     Pardon my flatulence, but I had refried beans and poi for breakfast.
            E kala mai i ka palale, i ka palali; aka ua 'ai aku nei i
            papapa mo'alua a me ka poi i ke kakahiaka nei.

SPEAKING TO THE CUSTOMS AGENT

     I greatly admire your machine pistol.
            Ke mahalo nui aku nei au i ko pu.

     Yes I have something to declare, "I need a shower!"
            'Ae, he mea ko'u e ho'ike aku ai, "He pono no ka ho'i ke 'au'au
            kililau!"

     Nice doggie! (Now be on your way, please)
            He u'i maika'i 'oe, e na 'ilio kipa wale mai, o 'auana hele aku
            'oe 'ano.

     How completely you have ripped my bags apart!
            Pau weluwelu ka'u mau ukana i kou 'ano he makaukau, tsa!

     Hold me, I am feeling faint.
            E pa'a puliki mai, 'ane'ane ko'u maka i ka poniuniu.

     Mommie, make the bad man go away.
            E Mama, e kipaku ho'olele aku 'oe i ke kanaka 'ino.

GETTING ON THE BUS

     That was a most unusual sound. Did you eat a big breakfast?
            He kani 'ano 'e loa kela. Ua 'ai nui anei 'oe ma ke kakahiaka?

     You must be very proud of your large hat.
            Ha'aheo no paha 'oe i kena papale kupalaka, pehea la.

     May I sleep on your lap?
            I hiamoe au ma luna o kou 'uha?

     How tenderly you have nudged my buttocks with your beach bag.
            Nani ka pa lihi o kena 'eke holoholo i hope o'u nei.

DOCTORS ON CALL

     Can wearing a thong and running on the beach cause a rash like this?
            Ua pili anei keia 'ohune i ke komo hawele li a me ka holo wawae
            ma kahakai?

     Damn it, man, what the hell kind of a doctor are you anyway?
            E ke kamipulu, pehea la kou 'ano kauka 'ana mai?

© 1996 Peter Langston