Fun_People Archive
29 May
Unlikely Greetings

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed, 29 May 96 14:22:58 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: Unlikely Greetings

Forwarded-by: "JUDY L SCHER" <scherj@lanecc.edu>
Forwarded-by: EDNA R GRASS@FANW_MA

GREETING CARDS YOU'RE UNLIKELY TO SEE AT HALLMARK.

1.	Happy Vasectomy!
	 Hope you feel zippy!
	'Cause when I got one
	 I got real snippy.

2.	I heard you had herpes
	 And I feel terrible
	I'd say "Get well soon"
	 But I know it's incurable.

3.	My tire was thumping
	 I thought it was flat
	When I looked at the tire
	 I found your cat... Sorry!

4.	You had your bladder removed and you're on the mends....
	Here's a bouquet of flowers and a box of Depends.

5.	You've announced that you're gay,
	 And won't that be a laugh,
	When they find out you're one
	 Of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

6.	So your daughter's a hooker
	 And it spoiled your day
	Look at the bright side,
	 She's a really good lay.

7.	Heard your wife left you
	 How upset you must be
	Don't fret about your wife though
	 She's moving in with me.

8.	Your computer is dead
	 And it was so alive
	You shouldn't have installed
	 Win'95.

9.	You totalled your car
	 And can't remember why
	Maybe it was
	 That case of Bud Dry

10.	So you lost your job
	 It's one of those hardships in life
	Next time, work harder
	 And stay away from the boss's wife.

© 1996 Peter Langston