Fun_People Archive
8 Dec
Universal Grade Change Form

Date: Fri, 8 Dec 95 02:54:23 -0800
From: Peter Langston <psl>
To: Fun_People
Subject: Universal Grade Change Form

Forwarded-by: Lani Herrmann <lanih@info.sims.berkeley.edu>
Forwarded-by: buckland@otlet.sims.berkeley.edu
Forwarded-by: Michael E. Roberts <robertsm@uclink2.berkeley.edu>
Forwarded-by: DSB <jjh91231@PEGASUS.CC.UCF.EDU>

                          UNIVERSAL GRADE CHANGE FORM

 To: Professor____________________ From:___________________________

 I think my grade in your course,___________________, should be
 changed from ______ to _______ for the following reasons:

 ______1.    The persons who copied my paper made a higher grade than I did.
 ______2.    The person whose paper I copied made a higher grade than I did.
 ______3.    I got a better grade with this paper last year.
 ______4.    This course will lower my Grade Point Average and I won't get
                                   into:
             ______Medical School          ______Graduate School
             ______Dental School           ______My Fraternity/Sorority
             ______The Mickey Mouse Club   ______Tri County Tech
 ______5.    I have to get an A in this course to balance the F in
             _______________.
 ______6.    I'll lose my scholarship.
 ______7.    I'm on a varsity sports team and my tutor couldn't find a
             copy of your exam.
 ______8.    I didn't come to class and the person whose notes I used
             did not cover the materisal asked for on the exam.
 ______9.    I studied the basic principles and the exam wanted every
             little fact.
 _____10.    I learned all the facts and definitions but your exams
             asked about general principles.
 _____11.    You are prejudiced against:
             ______Males         ______Jews          ______Blacks
             ______Females       ______Catholics     ______Whites
             ______Protestants   ______Moslems       ______Minorities
             ______Chicanos      ______People        ______Child molesters
             ______Idiots        ______Students      ______Snorers
 _____12.    If I flunk out of school my father will disinherit me or
             at least cut my allowance.
 _____13.    I was unable to do well in this course because of the
             following illness:
             ______mono                  ______broken baby finger
             ______acute alcoholism      ______pregnancy
             ______VD                    ______fatherhood
 _____14.    You told us to be creative but you didn't tell us exactly
             how you wanted that done.
 _____15.    I was creative and you said I was just shooting the bull.
 _____16.    I don't have a reason; I just want a higher grade.
 _____17.    The lectures were:
             ______too detailed to pick out important points
             ______not explained in sufficient detail
             ______too boring
             ______all jokes and not enough material
             ______all of the above
 _____18.    This course was:
             ______too early, I was not awake.
             ______at lunchtime, I was hungry
             ______too late, I was tired
 _____19.    My (dog, cat, gerbil) (ate, wet on, threw up on) my
             (book, notes, paper) for this course.
 _____20.    I ALWAYS got A's before... honest!
 _____21.    I can't understand your funny accent.
 _____22.    You can understand my funny accent.
 _____23.    I didn't have time to do the assignments because:
             ______I'm working on my Nobel prize in another subject
             ______I was helping the police bust drug kingpins
             ______my medication makes me very sleepy
             ______our band had to practice every night for our big gig
             ______my cellmate had other plans for my time
 _____24.    Other (make it good): _______________________________________

© 1995 Peter Langston