Fun_People Archive
24 Aug
WhiteBoardness 8/23/95

Date: Thu, 24 Aug 95 11:42:24 -0700
From: Peter Langston <psl>
To: Fun_People
Subject: WhiteBoardness 8/23/95

Excerpted-from: WhiteBoard News for August 23, 1995

London, England:

Freddie Mercury is dead, but his teeth gnash on -- in the gums of a
lookalike.

Using plaster casts of the legendary Queen frontsman's protruding incisors,
a London dentists has created an exact replica for professional impersonator
Patrick Myers, who'll flash his new choppers as lead singer for Closet Queen.

"I've already got the moustache, the extra-short microphone stand and the
sweat bands," Myers says, "but there was still something missing -- and it
wasn't just the hose pipe down my trousers."

Myers' new facial feature causes a few problems.  "There can be a danger of
drooling," he says, "but so far I haven't needed a bib."
==========

Los Angeles, California:

Want to own a piece of a star?  Marilyn Monroe?  George Washington?  JFK?

Soon you can wear their DNA on your lapel.

StarGene, a company founded by Kary Mullis (expert witness in the O.J.
Simpson trial) and partner Ron Cook, will market products called
"bio-collectibles."

Using authenticated celebrity hair, they capture and reproduce the celeb
DNA and encapsulate it in a patented "GeneStone," which can be put in a
jewelry setting.

"This is actually the essence of the person.  There's nothing more intimate
than that," says StarGene spokeswoman Michelle Kelly.

The first group -- including Abe Lincoln -- goes on sale in January.
==========

Fast News Forum:

Romanian police found a couple making love in a
Bucharest park and fined them the equivalent of $25 for
damaging the grass, which carries steeper fines than
indecent exposure.

Judy Guidry, 48, of Houma, Louisiana, a disabled nurse
out of work for more than a year, was turned down for
food stamps just hours before she learned she had won
$100,000 in the Powerball lottery.

© 1995 Peter Langston