This posting is for a friend of mine ...
Date: Sat, 24 Dec 94 20:00:47 PST
Subject: This posting is for a friend of mine ...
Forwarded-by: bostic@CS.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic)
Forwarded-by: Wendell Craig Baker <firstname.lastname@example.org>
From: email@example.com (Richard Huddleston)
This posting is for a friend of mine, who doesn't have Internet
access (or even an AOL account) yet. He has attended a
"How to Make Money on The Internet" seminar recently, however,
and has decided to cash in on the Internet craze by writing a
new book on the subject.
Here's what he needs:
(1) Title: Since he doesn't know anything about the Internet,
he doesn't know what might be a catchy title that will help
his book fly off the shelves at Borders. Send as many ideas
as you can. Make sure they're spelled correctly.
(2) Table of Contents: He'd like the book to be about 300 or
so pages, and so he's requesting about 10-15 chapters. Again,
please make sure the spelling is correct, and that your Table
of Contents is properly indented.
(3) Chapter drafts: Write as much as you can, and please check
the spelling. He also wants you to make sure that each paragraph
is no more that 20 lines in length. Run your text through a copy
of "Right Writer" before you send it in. If you don't have a
copy of Right Writer, it only costs a couple of hundred bucks.
He says "thanks in advance" for doing this (he said the guy at
the seminar told him that all you have to do is put that phrase
in any message to The Internet, and millions of people all over
the world will do what you want for free).
(4) .sig files: He heard about ".sig" files at the seminar, and
one idea that he does have is to collect as many .sig files as he
can and put them into a book. The guy at the seminar told him
that the recent success of several hundred page collections of
Courier font ("The C++ FAQ Book" "The Unix Hater's Handbook" or
whatever) proves that there's big money to be made putting out
books that look like e-mail stuff and have the word "Internet"
somewhere on the cover. So, send your .sig file.
Please make sure every word is spelled correctly.
(5) If you don't want to do any of this, then write a long flame
and send that in. Why, those could fill a chapter or two right
there. Somebody already sent in a 3MB file that starts out
begin 755 vmunix
however, so nobody has to send him another one of those (is that
one of those MINE email messages? The Internet is *so* *cool*).
Again, check everything for spelling. And stop whatever you're
doing and do this NOW. He's afraid that someone else will write
this book first, and, well, then who would buy *his* book?
Merry Christmas. Oh yeah, almost forgot -- thanks in advance!
Richard (who has had it with similar postings that, unfortunately,
are not jokes. I was going to put ^M at the end of each line,
for additional authenticity, but I was afraid that it would look
*too* real, and someone would start mailbombing me... ).
© 1994 Peter Langston