Related Questions and Answers
Date: Wed, 1 Jun 94 00:06:19 PDT
Subject: Related Questions and Answers
From: "REEDZSTEIN" <REEDZSTEIN@aol.com>
[with minor editing... -psl]
Q: You're lost in the Dark Forest and you meet the Tooth Fairy,
an avaricious lawyer, a tasteful banjo player, and Santa Claus.
Which one do you ask for directions?
A: The lawyer. The rest are imaginary creatures.
Q: Why is a banjo solo like premature ejaculation?
A: It's coming... it's coming real soon now...
and there's nothing you can do to stop it.
Q: How is a man like a snowstorm?
A: You never know how long it's going to last
or how many inches you're going to get....
Q: Why are men like tile floors?
A: If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years!
A golfer hit a ball into a meadow of buttercups. As he prepared to
knock it out of the rough, a voice called to him, "PLEASE don't hurt my
buttercups." He looked arond and saw no one, so he got ready to swing
again. "PLEASE DON'T HURT MY BUTTERCUPS!"
"Who is that?" he said. "IT'S ME, MOTHER NATURE; AND IF YOU DON'T
HURT MY BUTTERCUPS I WILL SEE THAT YOU HAVE ALL THE BUTTER YOU WANT FOR
THE REST OF YOUR LIFE".
The man thought a moment then asked, "So where were you when I knocked
the ball into the pussywillows?"
© 1994 Peter Langston