Fun_People Archive
3 May
More Cow Humor


Date: Tue,  3 May 94 23:31:10 PDT
To: Fun_People
Subject: More Cow Humor

Forwarded-by: Chris LaFournaise <lafourc@sequent.com>


                  ...:::///  THE NEW COWS  \\\:::...

             Part 2 of the 2-part COMPLETE GUIDE TO COWS!
                  ________________________
         (__)    /                        \         * OFFICIAL EDITION *
         (oo)   (    Udderly Cool Cows!    )
  /-------\/  --'\________________________/        * SPRING 1994 ISSUE! *
 / |     ||
*  ||----||
   ~~    ~~
     Cow

=  =  =  =  =  =  =  =  =  =  =  =  =  =  =  =  =  =  =  =  =  =  =  =  =  =
                                    ______
         (__)                       |    |                   (__)
         (oo)                       |    |                   ($$)
      ----\/                  /-----~~~~~~            /-------\/
         ||                  / |     ||              / | IRS ||
      ---||                 *  ||----||             *  ||----||
         ~~                    ~~    ~~                ~~    ~~
 Eric the half a cow     The unknown cowmic         Tax Acowntant

             \ _ /
            - ( ) -                          /\
             / " \                         /|  |   (__)
             (__)                        /  |  |   (oo)\
     ________(oo)                      /____|  |    \/|  \
    /|        \/                     /       \/       |    \
   / |_______||                   __(_______          |||__  \
  *  ||      ||                  |__________|         |||  ____\---*
     ~~      ~~
 Thomas Edison's cow               Cow hearing his master's voice


           )    (                         _
           (____)                        / \                (__)   ==========I
          / =  = \    ~               =='   `==             (oo)    \ |||||| I
          (-O--O-)    ~                8 O O 8       /-------\/      \ ||||| I
           (    )     ~        /------- (   )       / |     ||__o=<   \ |||| I
  /------- ||||||======       / |     || \_/       *  ||----|          \ ||| I
 / |     ||  \/              *  ||----||              ~~    ~           \ || I
*  ||----||                     ~~    ~~
   ~~    ~~
     Groucho Moo-x                Chico                Harpo

      ______________________            _______________________
      |                    |            |                     |
      |            (__)    |            |  (__)               |
      |            (oo)    |            |  (oo)               |
      |     /-------\/     |            |---\/           /----|
      |    / |     ||      |            |  ||           / |   |
      |   *  ||----||      |            |--||          *  ||--|
      |      ~~    ~~      |            |  ~~             ~~  |
      |--------------------|            |---------------------|
            Normal Cow                  0   Cow  modulo one   1

                  (__)                                   (__)
                  (oo)                                   (oo)
     ______________\/______               ____    /-------\/  __
    /___/___/___/___/___/_/|             /___/|  / |     || _/_/|
    |___|___|___|___|___|_||             |__||/|* //-----|||_|_||
    |_|___|___|___|___|___||             |_|__|/|~~      ~/|___||
    |___|___|___|___|___|_|/             |___|_|/        |___|_|/

    Cow in the GDR before...             ...and after 9-Nov-1989


       ______________(__)_________________                      (__)
     /_______________(oo)_______________ /                      (oo)
     |                \/                ||                       \/
    _|_                                _||                       ||
   /__/_______________________________/__/|                      ||
  (   )                              (   )|                      ||
   | |________________________________| | |                      ||
   \_____________________________________/]              /------- /
    []               []               []                / |     ||
                                                       *  ||----||
                    COW-CH                                ~~    ~~
                                                          Cowraffe

                                              *      *
                                               \    /
                                                \  /
       /~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\                 \/
     /   (__)                   \           +----------+
    |    (oo) ~~~~~~~~~~~\       |          |          |
   |~~~|  \/. \\       // \_* |~~~|         |          |
   |   |-----`//`====='\\-----|   |         |          |
   |   |-----//---------||----|   |         |          |
   |   |_ _ _"_ _ _ _ _ "_ _ _|   |         +----------+
    ~||~                      ~||~           ||      ||

                         "COWCH POTATO"

                                                +-------------+         +
                                                |  B A T E S  |  (__)   o
                       |    (0x)   (       )    | C O R R A L |  (**)  /|
 ___________           |     \/    (       )    +-------------+  \==/ / |
 |\         \                       W------      |           |   (  )   v
 | \_________\         *----   ====;                            (    )
 |  |  (__)  |          \           /                           (    )
 \  |  (oo)  |           \          |                           (    )
  \ |   \/   |             \+       |                           (    )
   \_________|                      +                           (    )
     Ice Cowbe           COWBOOOOOM!                             |  |
                                                                 o  o
                                                      Psycow (with knife)
         (__)
         (oo)   -------------------------          _______________________
  /-------\/ - | Don't have a Bart, man! |        |\ ~                ~  /|
 / |     ||     -------------------------         | \    ~      ~     ~ / |
*  ||----||                                       |(_\ ~   COW-PIE ~   /_)|
   ~~    ~~                                       |(oo\   ~           /oo)|
 The Simpsons' cow                                | \/ \       ~  ~  / \/ |
                                                  |(__) \           / (__)|
                \               /                 \(oo)(_\ ~     ~ /_)(oo)|
                 \_____________/                   \\/ (oo\       /oo) \//
                 /\___________/\                    \   \/ \  ~  / \/   /
      Cow in    / /\_________/\ \                    \  (__)\   / (__) /
      trouble  / / /\_______/\ \ \                    \ (oo) \~/  (oo)/
              / / / / (__) /\ \ \ \                    \ \/   :(__)\//
          ___/_/_/_/_ (oo) \_\_\_\_\___                 \ (__):(oo) /
             \ \ \ \ \ \/  / / / / /                     \(oo): \/ /
              \ \ \ \/_____\/ / / /                       \\/(__) /
               \ \ \/_______\/ / /                         \ (oo)/
                \ \/_________\/ /                           \ \//
                 \/___________\/                             \:/
                 /             \
                /               \

          (__)               (__)              (______)             (__)
          (oo)               (oo)              ( o  o )             (oo)
  /--------\/         /~~~~~~~\/          /-----\    /       /-------\/
./ |        |       ./ {~)))))_}         / |     |\/        / |     ||
   |--W-----|          ||``   ||        *  ||----||        *  (.)(.)||
   | |    | |          ~~     ~~           ~~    ~~           ~~    ~~
   ~~    ~~
cow before weight       cow after          Conceited       Dolly Parton's
  loss program         the program            Cow               Cow


                              (___)
                              (  OO
  ______      ______      _____\_ |                 ______  (__) ______
 |      |    |      |    |      |\O    cowstle     |      | (oo)|      |
 |      |____|      |____|      |                  |      |__\/_|      |
 |                              |                  |                   |
 |                              |   (__)           |                   |
 |          __________          |   (oo)           |     __________    |
 |         |          |         |    \/-------\    |    |          |   |
 |         |          |         | ___ | ___  |_\_  |    |          |   |
 |         |   (__)   |         |_| |_|_| |__|| |__|    |   (__)   |   |
 |         |   (oo)   |                                 |   (oo)   |   |
 |          \___\/___/                                   \___\/___/    |
 |                                                                     |
 |                                                                     |
  (                                    ______                         )
   (                                  /      \                       )
     (                               /        \                    )
        (                            |        |                 )
           |                         |        |              |
           |                         |        |              |
           |_________________________|........|______________|
  \ \
   \ \
    \ \
     \ \   (__)
      \ \  (oo)                                                 /
   /---\----\/                                                 /
  / |   \  ||                               *         (__)    /
 *  ||---\-\\                                \        ( OO   /
    ~~      ~~                                \---\___/\_|\=/>
            ~~       ~~                       |        \===/>
             \\_____//                        | /______/  /
             ||     |                 _________\\_\\_____/____________________
             /\------\                          ~  ~    /
            (oo)      \                                /
            (--)       *                              /

Cow Circus: The flying Cowlendas         Cow Circus: Tightrope walking

          ______________________
         |                      |\
         |       (__)           | |
         |       (oo)           | |
         |        \/            | |
         |       / \ \          | |
        /////////   \_ \_///////  |
         |     |     /          | |                           (__)
         |   /++++++<           | |                      _____(oo)
         |==/====|==\=\=========|=|===========================\\/
         | *     |    \_\_      | |                   / |     ||
   _______O)-----~---------------\O)_________________*__||----||_____

                cow-lliope in the circus parade

      *
       \
    w   \    w                                        (__)
    \\  /\  //                                        (oo)
     \\/  \//                                          \/
      |    |                    (__)               >--(  )--<
      |(__)|                    (oo)                  /  \
      \(OO)/                   .-\/-.             >--- {} ---<
      //\/\\                  <|    |>              v  /\  v
      ||  ||                   \ \/ /               | (oo) |
      ||__||                   |\/\/|                \(~~)/
     /~~  ~~\                  /----\                 |  |
   / ======== \               /      \                |  |
  /            \              /* * * \               / \/ \
 |==============|            /__*_*_*_\              |  \ |
  \            /               ||  ||                ~  / ~
   \ ======== /                ~~  ~~                  *
     \ _____ /
Cow balancing on ball          Cowslip            Cownilingus


             (__)                                         -'`-       "Here's
             (oo)     ____________________                ( oo  ~     mooing
      /-------\/     |                    |               /\_|--      at you,
     / |     |\ /    |  o  o  o  o  o  o  |              | \ \__  _   kid!"
    *  ||----| /     ======================              |  \___['
       ~~    ~       ||                  ||              |    ||
       Cowncillor            his cowch                   |____|-
                                                          |  |
                                                          ~  ~
         (__)    (__)   (__)    (__)                 humphrey cow-gurt
         (oo)    (oo)   (oo)    (oo)
  /-------\/      \/     \/      \/-------\
 / |     ||  ===================  ||     | \
*  ||----||   || |--|   |--| ||   ||----||  *
   ~~    ~~   -- ~  ~   ~  ~ --   ~~    ~~            (__)
          A game of cowntract bridge                  (oo)
                                                     / \/       ____________
                                                    /   \===~__|            |
                ----------------------             _|___ /\  |______________|
          (__)  | \-/   \-/    ||    |            |=====| |   |            |
          (oo)  | _|_   _|_   |__|   |            *I   I| |   |            |
   /-------\/   ----------------------             I   I~ ~   |            |
  / |     ||    |   \-/  |   |    |  |
 *  ||----||    |   _|_ |_| |_|  |_| |            wolfgang amadeus moo-zart
    ~~    ~~    ----------------------
           Just a humble cownoisseur


    (__)  (__)   (__) (__)(__)    (__) (__)(__)(__)  (__)
    (oo(__)oo) (__)o) (oo)((__)(__)oo) (__)(o(__)o)(__)o)(__)
     \/(oo)\/  (oo)/(__)/  (oo)(oo)\/  (oo) \(oo)/ (oo)/ (oo)
        \/      \/  (oo)    \/  \/      \/    \/    \/    \/
                     \/
                         a cownfluence

                                                  _______
            (__)   .-<                            |   |   |
            ( oo   |                              |___|___|
         ____\_|___|                              |\_____/|
        |   |  |                                 |       |
        |   |  |                                 |_______|
      >-'   |  |                             _   |   _   |
        *----/\                     /-------//   |--(_)--|
            /  \                   / |     ||    |_______|  (__)
           /    \                 *  ||----||    |       |  (++)
           ~     ~                   ~~    ~~    |_______|   \/
        Egyptian Cow                   Marie Antoinette's Cow

                 _
        ________|@|________
         |  POLICE  BOX  |                     __
         |---------------|                   (~\/~)              \(:)/
         |_______|     / |                    \oo/               (o|o)
         ||  |  ||    |  |               /-----\/           /-----\_/
         ||-----||    |  |              /|      |          /|      |
         ||__|__||    |  |             V ||----||         ~ ||----||
         |  ___  |    |  |               ~~    ~~           ~~    ~~
         | |___| |    |  |              Vulcan Cow         Klingon Cow
         | _____ |     (__)
         ||     ||     (oo)    ---------
         ||     ||----//\/ ---< Master? >
         ||     ||B-9  \ |     ---------
         ||_____||______\|
         |_______|_______|
                                                             ----------------
     a Certain Time Lord's Cow                   (__)    ---< EXTERMINATE!!! |
                                                 ( ----0     ----------------
                  (___)                          _\/_
                  |===|                         /oooo\---O
           ________\_/                         /oooooo\
          | |        |                        /oooooooo\
          # ||______||                       /oooooooooo\
            ||      ||                      /____________\
            ~~      ~~
             RoboCow                          a Dalek Cow

   __________________        ___________________        ___________________
  /ine McBovine McBov\      /McCow McCow McCow M\      /ttle McCattle McCat\
 /cBovine McBovine McB\    /Cow McCow McCow McCow\    /e McCattle McCattle M\
 -----------------------  -------------------------  -------------------------
 \ovine McBovine McBov/    \McCow McCow McCow McC/    \attle McCattle McCatt/
  \McBovine McBovine /      \w McCow McCow McCow/      \ McCattle McCattle /
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                            Ronald McDonald's Cows

                           @ @
                            @@@ @
                              @@ @
               Pffii           @@@@ @@
         ___________D           @@@@@@
        |________  |            _______
         (__)   | /             \     /
         ( oo /~| |      __      \   /
         /\_|// | |     /  \     |  |
       _/____/__| |    |    |    |  |
      |       ___/-----------------_| (__)
      |      /   \     \     \       `(oo)
      |     /     \     |     |       |\/
      |    |   O  |    /     / __    /
      |----|      |-----------/  \-\\\                 (__)
           \     /           | o |  \\\               _(  )_
    ________\___/____________\__/____\\\_____________/_/__\_\____

                  Cow Express                     Suicidal Cow

                                              o         _____________
                                              /\       /             \
                                             [__]     ( take off, eh! )
     __  |   \ /                             (oo) ----'\_____________/
       \/----///\                     /-------\/
     */\______(xx)                   / |     ||__|
              (  )                  *  ||----|   U
                                       ~~    ~
Pro-democracy cow from Beijing         Canadian Cow


     o          o               o              o             o       o
o  o       o         o       o     o         o   o       o       o
    o   o      o       o       (    )      o    (    )        o  (    (    o
          O                     )  (             )  (             )  (
o  o     (__)     o     o       (__)        o    (__)     o   o   (__)
         (oo)                   (oo)             (oo)      o      (oo)     o
  /------$$$$   o   o    /-------\/  o    /-------\/       /-------\/
 / |     $$$$           / |     ||       / |     ||       / |     ||
*  ||----||        o   *  ||----||      *  ||----||      *  ||----||   o
   ~~    ~~               ~~    ~~         ~~    ~~         ~~    ~~
   Santa Cow and his reincows caught in a Montana snow flurry

                                        ___
                                      _/...\  *==\        ________________
      __________ (___)               /::::::\  (/_\)     /                \
     /|         `(0 0)               |:::::::_ (o o)     |  Moo, Moo, Moo |
    / |           \ /              /-----+-+--- \ /     /\________________/
   *  |||----|||-/ *              / |    | |   | 0  ___/
      |||    |||                 *  | _  |_| _ |
                                    || --+_+- ||
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Cow           --        --
                                   |  |_     |  |_
          /\                       |____|    |____|
         / O\                         Santa Cows
        / ,  \
       /  O   \                                       _ - ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ -_
       -/ ,  \-                                     /          |~      |~   \
       /  O   \                                    |      |~  o|   |~ o|     |
      /,    ,  \                                 /  \    o|       o|        /
     / O    O   \                              /      \                    /
     -/  ,     \-                             /        / ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
     /   O   ,  \                            /        /          .
    /  ,     O  ,\  (__)                 /*     *\   /         ./\.
   /   O   ,    O \ (oo)                /\       /\           .//.\.
  /        O       \-\/                ****     ****         .///\\\.
  ------------------||                 (oo)     (oo)         ////\\\\.
          ||/ ||----||          /-------\/       \/-------\     ||
          ||  ~~    ~~         /|      ||         ||      |\    ~~
  Merry Cow-ristmas           *  ||----||         ||----||  *
                                 ~~    ~~         ~~    ~~
                                      Christmas Cowols

                               O
                                   O  O  O
                                            O                    *
           Moory Cowristmas!                 ___                /|\
                        _____________________|  |_____         /||o\
                       /______________________________\       /|o|||\
     ~                /________________________________\     /|||||o|\
      ~~  ####          ||   |   ||||||||||||   |   ||      /||o||||||\
         ~(oo)          ||___|___||||||||||||___|___||     /||||o||||||\
   /-------\/           ||   |   ||||||||||||   |   ||    /|o||||o|||o||\
  / |     ||            ||___|___||||||||||||___|__ ||          | |
 *  ||----||            ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||oooooooooo| |ooooooo
oooo~~oooo~~oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo


  |----------------------|                         /\
  |                      |                  /\  /\/  \
  |                      |                 /  \/ /    \/\
  |                      |                /            \ \
  |                      |          ----------------------------
  |______________________|
                                              \/
  |----------------------|                  o-@@
  |______________________|
                                       Minimalist Dead Cow
   ----------------------
      Mark Rothko Cow
                                                     /=`=~~~#&@~@&)|||><<><><>
                                                     \|}}{}{}{() (&)  ~~~~#***
  (__) |  (__) |  (__) |  (__) |  (__) |  (__) |     #\**~~//?<>.+|@@@\/---___
  ( oo |  ( oo |  ( oo |  ( oo |  ( oo |  ( oo |     \|}}{}{/?<>.+|@@*&(*$@))(
  /\_| |  /\_| |  /\_| |  /\_| |  /\_| |  /\_| |     |@#)@(&*)($*I!?$>@$|$|$|$
 -----------------------------------------------
  (__) |  (__) |  (__) |  (__) |  (__) |  (__) |        Jackson Pollock cow
  ( oo |  ( oo |  ( oo |  ( oo |  ( oo |  ( oo |
  /\_| |  /\_| |  /\_| |  /\_| |  /\_| |  /\_| |         ____________________
 -----------------------------------------------         |           (__)   |
  (__) |  (__) |  (__) |  (__) |  (__) |  (__) |         |           (oo)   |
  ( oo |  ( oo |  ( oo |  ( oo |  ( oo |  ( oo |         |    /-------\/    |
  /\_| |  /\_| |  /\_| |  /\_| |  /\_| |  /\_| |         |   / |     ||     |
 -----------------------------------------------         |  *  ||----||     |
  (__) |  (__) |  (__) |  (__) |  (__) |  (__) |         |     ~~    ~~     |
  ( oo |  ( oo |  ( oo |  ( oo |  ( oo |  ( oo |         | Ceci N'est Pas   |
  /\_| |  /\_| |  /\_| |  /\_| |  /\_| |  /\_| |         |    Une Cow       |
 -----------------------------------------------         --------------------
              Andy Warhol Cow                             Rene Magritte Cow



[=] © 1994 Peter Langston []